My brother died recently, but left us with great humour.
He spent his last few weeks in a hospice and he was not allowed to smoke.
We were outside and he said to me, "Smoking's bad for you, you know?"
"I know."
"Gives you cancer."
Even in his last stages he maintained his spirit.

If anyone is interested in listening to the music of my late brother, Dan Mercer, follow the link:
http://jmk7.podomatic.com/

Bruno the brown nosed reindeer

With all this talk about Rudolph it is easy to forget Bruno. He is number 2 in Santa's sleigh. He can run as fast as Rudolph but cannot stop as quick.

Mistletoe does not work

For the last 30 years I have put mistletoe in my belt buckle without success, not even a peck.

Xmas con

A few years ago a garden centre advertised Xmas trees that were non-drop and the wind blew them over. What a con!

Xmas stockings

Did I ever tell you about the woman who wrote 'Xmas' on one stocking and 'New Year' on the other so she could invite friends up between the holidays?

Xmas is so commercial

In the UK a lot of people will be heard to say, "Ooh Christmas, it's so commercial. Not like in the old days." Well, who makes it commercial? Not me!
Then afterwards, if you ask someone what is what like, the answer is invariably, "Quiet."
What is the point rushing around, spending loads of money on 2 quiet days?