Bruno the brown nosed reindeer

With all this talk about Rudolph it is easy to forget Bruno. He is number 2 in Santa's sleigh. He can run as fast as Rudolph but cannot stop as quick.

Mistletoe does not work

For the last 30 years I have put mistletoe in my belt buckle without success, not even a peck.

Xmas con

A few years ago a garden centre advertised Xmas trees that were non-drop and the wind blew them over. What a con!

Xmas stockings

Did I ever tell you about the woman who wrote 'Xmas' on one stocking and 'New Year' on the other so she could invite friends up between the holidays?

Xmas is so commercial

In the UK a lot of people will be heard to say, "Ooh Christmas, it's so commercial. Not like in the old days." Well, who makes it commercial? Not me!
Then afterwards, if you ask someone what is what like, the answer is invariably, "Quiet."
What is the point rushing around, spending loads of money on 2 quiet days?

Man Utd

After the tragedy of Man Utd's exit from the Champions' League, this weekend, all Premiership teams will hold a minute's laughter.

Romanian Day

The first of December is the national day of Romania. It is a day where the armed forces parade their weapons and the young children can climb aboard the tanks, getting them prepared for the next war.

In the UK we are pressured into condoning the war-machine by wearing poppies and school assemblies using the most jingoistic language- sacrifice, ultimate sacrifice, freedom, they gave their lives. Nobody ever reminds them that fighting for peace is like making love for virginity. I know what I would rather do.

All I am saying is Give Peace a Chance!

pilot scheme

Checks were relaxed under 'pilot scheme' for light aircraft authorised by Theresa May.
I personally think all planes should have pilots.

Corruption party

The Corruption Party

There have just been elections in Bulgaria and, unfortunately, the results were the same- the politicians got elected. In recent years I have refused to vote as I feel it only encourages them, and, unless you live in a marginal constituency, your single voice makes no difference. Besides, if you do not have the chance to vote for the Monster Raving Loony Party how is that democracy?

When there are elections next time in Bulgaria I am going to form the Corruption Party. Now, I realise this might sound somewhat bizarre, but I will restrict the rake-offs to only 10%, instead of the current 20, 30, 40 plus percentages that exists at present. That way the country and its people will be in a far better position.

I know I will never get into a position of power as such honesty will be viewed with great suspicion. However, I might just try it, just for a laugh.

Celta assignment

"You can't submit that!" said a colleague. Good advice is seldom taken. This is what was handed in.

Written Assignment- to reflect on yourself as a teacher

Part 1

When I first came across Bob he showed an interest in me as a person. Not often do teachers bother. He asked relevant questions and was patient listening to my answers. He made me laugh as he was funny without any hint of malice.

His first lesson with us lasted only 20 minutes. He was very confident in front of the class and he explained 7 different tenses from a text in the book. I tried to understand but it was not easy.

The next lesson involved us listening to a text.  Bob realised we did not fully understand and was smart enough to play it for a third time. It was a shame that nobody had heard of the film we were supposed to give the answer to. I cannot blame Bob for that.

The lesson I remember most clearly was the murder mystery role play. It looked very exciting. However, we found it difficult to get the meaning of the three tenses we were supposed to understand. Nobody had ever put 3 tenses to me before. Bob realised we did not get the correct usage so gave us some drills. It was such a shame as we had devised a brilliant script. I was really motivated to produce my best English ever.

I was sad to see the groups change as I felt happy to be taught by him. He would always ask if we knew the answers and let us work on our own if we did not like our partner. Towards the end of our time together I noticed a furrowed brow appear and a lot of happiness disappear.

He now teaches my mother and she adores being in his class. However, he did make her study a text about schools in Ireland.  There were ridiculously hard phrases and things happen in Irish schools that do not in Bulgaria. She wondered why they were given it.

Part 2

Having come from a mainstream UK secondary schools teaching background, I had a different philosophy regarding the role of the teacher. In the very tough schools the teacher would be trampled upon by the students if certain techniques were implemented which would be required for a CELTA course. A task based approach is fine if students have the extrinsic or intrinsic motivation to learn. Nobody has mentioned how to deal with the problems of disruptive learners. 

My teacher talking time was perhaps my biggest problem at the start of the course, along with echoing. I have been told I have remedied these problems. My explanations are short and sweet and, even if the students do not understand, they will eventually. I have changed my philosophy regarding echoing as I did not believe that it necessarily ate into student talking time. However, as students would tend to listen only to the teacher’s response and not their peers, I have eliminated echoing.

Lesson planning has been a problem for me since the early 70’s. I can reflect and pinpoint exact areas where lessons have not flowed due to plans not being adequate. However, the blame cannot lie solely with a trainee. Cambridge University are of the misguided opinion that the more intense the course the better. This is clearly not the case. We are required to pre-teach students, yet no access to the written assignments is permitted, despite the fact they are easily available to buy on the internet.

Were I to have the chance to teach my lessons again I would make ‘what if’ flexi-planning. This would allow greater freedom for students not understanding or taking longer than expected.  

I would avoid so much monitoring of students’ faces, thereby my teacher talking time would be reduced.  I have tended become entrenched in long explanations.  This has eaten into the time allocated for my production stages. The rules of the game have become clear.

I need to make my lessons more student based, giving students the opportunity to be responsible for their own learning. I, personally, became disillusioned with the input sessions and just sat and waited for the Celta way it should be done, realising very early that my opinion was not important.  

I shall pursue my teaching career by taking steps to re-kindle the enjoyment factor on my part. The techniques learnt will not be forgotten and bringing them into practice will take much longer than a 4 week course. As someone was once quoted as saying  Celta stands for 'cybotically and effectively lowering teaching ability'. I can look forward to taking measures to implement change.  

I shall never become an academic, looking with contempt at the Cambridge dons, locked away in their ivory towers, blissfully unaware of the real world. Smug in their neatly carved monopoly, they naively believe that an intensive course is not excessively stressful to a point where rational judgement has been sacrificed for merely a ‘falling over the line’ attitude. Still, Cambridge get their money, Avo-Bell get their money; what else matters?